Regrets
by Crazycatscarmen
Summary: Ford finds himself regretting a lot, and wanting to make up for it. T for Bill Cipher because he deserves his own trigger warning.


**Trigger warnings: Death, Sadness and Bill freaking Cipher, who should go die in a ditch. Also, Kinda Feral Ford au? Kinda? He identifies Stan by smell, so...Also, not Stancest, because that is so gross. (Sorry, it just is.)**

* * *

Ford was patrolling outside the shack. The leaves rustled in the wind and the ground was soft. He took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the warm summer air.

Stanford Pines wasn't ever described as a 'calm' person. He was always running after or away from something. Especially during his dimension-hopping days. It was strange to think they were over. That he wasn't in danger anymore. Not from the IDPD anyway. (Inter-dimensional Police department.)

He wasn't running anymore.

The wind shifted and Ford tensed as a familiar scent made itself known. He turned to see Stanley standing behind him.

" Greetings Stanley. What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be managing that disgrace of science?" Ford huffed impatiently.

Stan didn't say anything, he walked silently closer, not even his footsteps making any noise. Ford thought his gait seemed strange. Stiff, somehow. Ford naturally let his hand hover over his equalizer. That's when he realized why he felt so unnerved.

He couldn't see Stanley's eyes.

The blaster was out of its holster faster than he could comprehend the movement. " Halt."

The word rang out with an authority most people wouldn't second guess obeying. Unfortunately, neither Bill nor Stanley could classify themselves as 'most people.'

Stanley spoke, but it wasn't Stan's voice that Ford heard.

" WELL WELL WELL! WOULD YOU REALLY SHOOT YOUR OWN TWIN, IQ? I MUSt HAVE UNDERESTIMATED YOU!"

" Bill," Ford growled. " Release him!"

Bill tsked." NOW, NOW. YOU KNOW THAT"S NOT HOW IT WORKS! STAN AND I HAD A DEAL. I HOPED YOU COULD RESPECT THAT, ALTHOUGH YOU NEVER REALLY CARED FOR HIM, DID YOU?"

Ford didn't lower the gun, but his face fell. " What on earth could posses Stanley to make a deal with you, Bill?!"

Sta-Bill laughed. The sound grated on Ford's nerves and he found himself hissing at the noise. " WHY, YOU OF COURSE! I HELP HIM WITH THE PORTAL TO GET YOU BACK AND I GET TO HAVE HIS FLESH-SACK! FEZ DIDN"T SEEM TO CARE TO MUCH ABOUT HIMSELF. IT WAS ALL "SIXER" THIS AND "POINDEXTER" THAT! ANNOYING, HOW MUCH HE CARED. BUT I GOT WHAT I NEEDED!"

Ford snarled but didn't move. He didn't want to hurt Stanley. No matter how angry he was with him. Bill seemed to sense his hesitation.

" HEY! MAYBE I CAN GO PAY THOSE PINE TWINS A VISIT! DIPPER DIDN"T LIKE IT WHEN I POSSESSED _HIM._ MAYBE HE"LL ENJOY THIS A BIT MORE!" Bill turned around towards the shack and Ford bolted. He ran right up to the door and stood in front of it like a bodyguard, the gun still aimed towards Bill/ Stan's body. Stan's mouth stretched into a painful grin. "HIT A NERVE, DID I? C"MON FORDSY! JUST SHOOT ME ALREADY! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TOO! WHAT HAS STANLEY EVER DONE FOR YOU?!"

Ford's eyes narrowed, "Stop."

" NO, I DON"T THINK I WILL! HE ONLY SACRIFICED HIMSELF FOR YOU! CAME RUNNING WHEN YOU CALLED! TALK ABOUT AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, AND YOU CALL ME CRUEL." Bill stepped closer, his voice transforming from the loud cackle to Stan's own voice."You ruined his life. And he doesn't even blame you for it."

Ford was shaking now, whether, from anger or fear, or both, he wasn't sure. The blaster trembled in his hands and he fought to steady it. " This is your last warning, Cipher! Release him!"

"Make me."

 _Bang!_

Stan's face was still in a full-blown grin as it fell to the ground. " Knew you could do it, Sixer. Wow, this is painful! Well, I think I'm going to let Fez have his body back! Congrats on killing me, IQ."

Ford watched as Stan's eyes returned to the color brown and he fell into unconsciousness. Blood spread quickly over Stan's front. Ford was shaking hard enough to bring him to his knees. He didn't fight it as the gun fell from his hands. It dropped onto the dirt without a sound. Ford clung to Stanley, who was slowly bleeding out. Ford didn't notice as his breath came in gasps and the tears ran down his cheeks.

 _Stanley, no..._

 _I'm so sorry.  
_

* * *

Ford gasped. He sat up and gazed confusedly at his surroundings. _A dream. It was a dream._ The thought swirled around his mind and Ford found himself buried in his hands, laughing in relief. (It was either laughing or crying, so yeah.)

He started to shake with shock. It had felt so real...and it was all true. Wasn't it? Was this his subconsciousness' way to tell him something? That Bill and Stan had a past? Or maybe...

 _You ruined his life, and he doesn't even blame you for it._

No...No! Stan ruined his life. Stan...

 _Flashback: 1958, Glass shard beach, New Jersey._

 _Ford was on the ground, groaning from the pain as Crampelter kicked him in the side. Ford looked up when the pain stopped. Stanley was hitting Crampelter in the stomach.  
"LEY! Wa-watch out!"_

 _Jack, one of Pelter's 'friends' pulled Stan off and flung him to the ground. Stan endured a beating from all three boys and smiled afterward as he helped Ford walk up the stairs to their bedroom._

 _1966, Stan and Ford were in the bathroom, switching outfits so Ford didn't have to endure gym with Crampelter. Stan laughed and told him to enjoy getting drugged up on math. "That is such a horrible pun, Stanley." Ford laughed anyway._

 _1968, Ford was soaking wet. The girl he'd been trying to flirt with had gotten offended and thrown her drink on him. Ford didn't get a chance to feel dishearted as Stan abandoned his dance to throw his own drink on himself to make Ford laugh. "Stanley! What about your date?" ... " Ahh, didn't even know her name! Just dancin' with everybody."_

 _End of Flashbacks._

Ford removed his hands from his face and stared at them for a moment. They were wet. He felt a choking sob surface and he realized he was crying. _Crap._ Ford hadn't cried for forty years. Not since the day Stan left...

Stanley. _Holy ******************** (_ Some very long alien swearing.) _I did ruin his life, didn't I? I always thought that Stanley got something out of everything he did, but what did he get when he took beatings for me? Or spent thirty years of his life trying to rescue me? He could have been doing anything! He could have actually stolen my identity, sold my patents and become a millionaire! Dang it, how could I have been so blind?_

Ford was pacing around the living room where he'd been sleeping. He realized what he was doing and stopped himself. What was he going to do now? He knew he was wrong, but he couldn't just up and apologize, could he? He sighed. He was running off coffee and emotions. He needed more sleep, clear his head...

...

It was morning and Ford had a plan. He had concocted it in his sleep, incidentally. _Who knew sleep could be so useful?_ Ford smiled to himself. He had a lot of issues, and it was kinda funny.

No one was awake yet, so Ford was able to get to work in peace. Running outside, he flipped the open and closed sign on the door to 'open' and started cleaning up the shop. Now that he thought about it, he had to admit some of Stan's taxidermy were hilarious. Ford had thought about bringing in an actual anomaly, but Dipper had already told him about that particular adventure and Ford had no desire to scar anyone.

By the time Stan and the twins woke up, Ford had already opened up shop. He met the cashier Stan had hired and was having a rather eventful conversation.  
-

Wendy walked in to see Stan Pines, but not Stan Pines walking around the shop. A light bulb went off. " So, you must be the 'other Mr. Pines' Soos was talking about. Wendy Corduroy. Cashier."

Ford jumped at the sudden noise but smiled when she introduced herself. He held out his hand. "You are correct. I am Stanford Pines Ph.D. My brother's actual name is Stanley, to clarify."

Wendy nodded and shook his hand. She didn't seem surprised by his surplus of digits. " Yeah, Soos told me. What are you doing down here anyway? Is something wrong with Mr. Pines?"

Ford shook his head, "No! Not at all, I just...wanted to surprise him." He held his hands behind his back, nervously. He wasn't sure how much this girl knew or if Stan would even accept his apology, so he was feeling anxious.

The Corduroy girl shrugged, "Alright. He usually leaves me to open shop, so he should be down in like...fifteen minutes." She looked around at the meticulously tidied area and gave him a small smile, "Guess I don't have much to do, eh? Thanks."

Ford smiled, " Your welcome, hey, where are you going?" She had started moving to the side of the room towards a curtained off area. She swept the curtain back dramatically. " I'm gonna go relax. Wanna join?"

Ford looked at her confusedly. "On my observation deck? I built this house you know. Or, I designed it."

Wendy shrugged again, "Hey, it's been years since you've been here, yeah? I made this place a nice hang out place. Just don't tell Stan. He'll kill me if he knows there is a ladder in the house." She started up the ladder and Ford followed her. They emerged on top of the roof and Ford admired the space she made for herself.

" This is, admittedly nice. You wouldn't mind if I returned my telescope here, right?" Ford sat down and let his legs hang off the edge.

Wendy popped a can of pop from the cooler. "Your house right? I don't mind." She glanced at him. " Your pretty chill. I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't this."

It was Ford's turn to shrug. "I spent thirty years trying not to die. Honestly, I don't think I want to be mad anymore. Because I was. I was so angry. I was mad at Stan for ruining my life, for putting the world in danger. Last night, I had a dream. A dream that a demon possed my brother and in order to protect the twins, I had to shoot him. He died in my arms. I realized I was being unfair. That's the real reason I was cleaning up the shop this morning. I want to apologize, and I thought to show him support in one of the only things he cares about would be a good way to go about that. I told him the Mystery Shack was a disgrace to my line of work, and now I'm attempting to make up for that. But that's forty years of cruelty on my end to make up for." Ford was staring out into the distance and returned to where he was in reality. Using Stan's teenage cashier as a therapist.

Ford flushed. " I apologize, I'm rambling. It was not my attention to unload my issues on you."

Wendy laughed, which only made Ford flushed deeper. Forty years and he was still awful at talking to women.

" Hey, It's all good. I'm actually kinda proud. Stan's a good person and I'm glad you are trying to make things right. I'm also kinda used to people talking to me. I think it's because I act so chill. I don't judge, or I try not to anyway." She took a sip of the can of soda and sighed.

" WENDY!"

" And there it is." She muttered. She stood back up and stretched. Wendy turned back to Ford and cocked a brow. " You comin'? You did want to apologize, right? Usually, I might take credit for cleaning, but I don't think he would believe me anyway. Never cleaned this place since I started workin' here."

Ford snorted, which got another chuckle from Wendy and he stood up to follow her down. They made it back downstairs. Wendy went first. Stan was in his Mr. Mystery suit. He grunted when he found her.

" Where ya been? I ain't payin' ya ta lounge around!" Stan pointed to the cashier's desk and she walked over, sat down and started reading. Stan snorted. " Tha's better. Sorta. Also, who cleaned the shop? I know it wasn't you."

Wendy smirked and pointed behind him. Ford was standing behind Stanley, who looked at him confusedly. "Ford? What are ya doin' up here?" Stan narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

Ford cleared his throat. " What I think you meant to say was thank you." He looked straight into Stan's eyes. "Thank you, Stanley." Ford watched for Stan's reaction. Stanley looked confused for a moment before he started to shake. Stan whispered.

"What?"

Ford felt his heartbreak and he quickly threw his arms around Stan in a bone-crushing hug. "Thank you, Ley. I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?" Ford mumbled into his shoulder.

He felt arms wrap around his back hesitantly. Stan chuckled, but it lacked amusement. " You drunk or somethin' Sixer?"

Ford's heart sunk further. Did Stan really not believe him? Ford pushed away to see Stan's expression. He looked sad, but also slightly amused. Ford felt disgusted with himself. Had he really hurt Stan so harshly, that when he tried to make it right, Stan thought he was drunk? Ford clenched the bridge of his nose in frustration and sighed.

" Stanley, I'm not drunk. I need you to believe me!" Ford ran his fingers through his hair and looked at Stan imploringly, eyes wide." I'm am truly sorry. I'll do anything. Please."

Stan watched Ford with a stony expression. He crossed his arms." You'll do anything, huh?"

Ford nodded, he was feeling kinda desperate at this point. "Anything." (Something you should never say.)

Taking off his fez, Stan plopped it on Ford's ruffled hair. He grinned mischievously, "Alright then, Mr. Mystery. Have fun." Ford's jaw dropped,

" What?" Ford's face looked so honestly confused, that Stan chuckled.

" You heard what I said. I don't think I feel like workin' today. First tour bus comes at eight."

Stan didn't really think Ford would do it. He was mostly messing around since Ford decided to joke with him.

" Alright. Want me to pretend to be you, or do my own tour? I'm not sure how good I'd be at it..."

Stan looked shocked and Ford trailed off. " Ya serious? I was jus' messin' around. Thought you were too ta be honest." _hehe Stan Pines, honest. That's funny._

Ford's face looked so appalled that Stan flinched away. "You thought I was joking? I'm serious Stanley! I'm sorry! I'm sorry for turning my back on you, and ignoring you, for hurting you time and time again and for calling you worthless, because you're not worthless Stanley! You have never been!" Ford pulled off the fez and held it in his hands. Tears fell on top of it before Ford could wipe them away or stop them from coming at all. His voice lowered. "I owe you my life, Stanley."

Stan's face was back to looking like a piece of stone. That is before he started laughing. Stan nearly fell to the ground with the force of his chuckling. " Y-You, don't owe, owe me anythin' Ford," Stan said breathily. "I ruined your life, remember?"

Ford groaned, "How can I get you to understand? I ruined my own life. Just like I ruined yours."

" You didn't ruin my life."

Ford cocked a brow. " Oh, really? So I didn't turn my back on you? I didn't ignore you when you voiced your concerns? I looked for you after you were gone? I didn't push you into a burning hot metal rune that scarred your back? I didn't blame and curse you for everything that when wrong in my life? Did I thank you for saving me? Did I cherish the fact that you put me above everything? Did I support you in everything you wanted to do, just as you did with me? No, Your right. I'm the perfect brother!" Ford realized he was yelling and stopped himself. This isn't what he wanted. He didn't want to keep yelling at Stanley. That seemed to be all he ever did.

"I'm sorry, Stanley. I didn't mean to yell." Ford pushed his polydactyl hands into his jean pockets and turned away. He was itching to go back to the basement. To lose himself in his work. It was easier than this. Anything was, really.

He stopped when he felt a hand fall on his shoulder. He looked up to see Stan's eyes, brimming with unshed tears. "Stanley what-"

Stan pulled him into a proper hug and Ford fell silent. *Idk, they stayed that way for a while, and Wendy is just smiling in the background then-*

The front door opens and Stan and Ford look up to see a crowd of amazed, confused people. Stan takes it in stride.

"Welcome to the Mystery Shack! We put the 'fun' in no refunds! Feel free to walk around or join me and my doppelganger ghost on a tour! All items at the gift shop are half-price, this tour only!" (as in like, double the price, but they don't know that.) Ford chuckles when Stan spins a story about his 'doppelganger ghost' as in Ford himself.

They were gonna be alright.

* * *

 **Blah. I didn't know how to end it, so that happened. Also, Grammarly corrected 'Bleh' to 'Blah'. Idk why Blah is a word, but bleh isn't. What the freak, Grammarly?!**

 **Stan: OmFreaking Cipher, what is wrong with you?**

 **Me: I dunno.**

 **Ford: MY EYES! DIPPER HELP!**

 **Me: Haha, I'm too lazy to write Dipper. Sorry, Ford.**

 **Hope you enjoyed and don't forget to review!**

 **(I had no idea where this was going until it ended, and I think it's cute. What do you all think? Don't be shy!)**


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